New Years Resolutions 2018

So I thought last year's resolution list of 22 was more manageable but I still only achieved 6 and a bit. The bit was to read 'A Song of Ice and Fire' and I did start it but I'm on book 3 part 1 so I've put on this year's list to finish the series. The one thing I failed that shocked me was that I didn't read my 100 books! That's something I do every year without fail. I guess puppies take up more time than you realise... So here goes:

1. Lose at least two stone.
2. Get at least one piercing.
3. Get at least one tattoo.
4. Refine my clothing style, focus more on quality pieces.
5. Learn to drive.
6. Buy a new car.
7. See at least one stage show.
8. Got to Longleat Safari Park.
9. Get a second dog.
10. Read 100 books.
11. Finish 'A Song of Ice and Fire' series.
12. Watch 100 films.
13. Watch at least 5 films at the cinema.
14. Complete NaNoWriMo.
15. Finish the first draft of a novel.
16. Learn to draw dogs.
17. Improve my equine anatomy.
18. Buy a tablet.
19. Buy an iPod Classic.
20. Find a new career.

The trickiest things are going to be seeing a stage show, that depends on if there's anything decent on. The annoying thing is Wicked is on from pretty much now until March but we don't have the money for tickets at the moment and if we get the money then they'll probably have sold out so we'll see what happens. Shrek is on later in the year so that's a possible, as is the Take That one they did the TV show for.

NaNo is always tricky (this time I burned out and only wrote about 9,000 words) but I have a different plan in mind for 2018. Google docs or something similar on a tablet with a keyboard case. Hopefully that combination will fix the problems I have with speed and portability/ease. I can type faster than hand-writing but my laptop is a bit big and clunky to be bothered with and slower to start up whereas tablets are pretty much instant.

The other troublesome one is likely to be finding a new career. The thing is I'm starting to hate my job more and more. Retail is killing my soul and I don't know how much longer I can stick it. I'm 27 for Christ's sake this is not where I saw my life being, the thing is I've never had any clear idea of what I want to do. The only possible thing I did think of recently was dog grooming but I don't know if the market is too saturated where I live, are there too many? Are there any jobs? I need to research what's available locally in general - next town over is also possible once I learn to drive - and then see if there's anything that will suit me aka not retail, cleaning, office or reception (I struggle with telephones and 'perky face') that doesn't require masses of expensive training.

I'm shocked that I haven't already learned to draw dogs anyway but this year an idea for a project came to me themed around dogs, and then my brain literally just spoke and said why not do a series and include cats and horses too so that'll keep me busy for a few years hypothetically. Equine anatomy always needs improving in my art, I want dynamic, realistic poses!

I know an iPod Classic is an odd thing to want especially as Apple don't even make them any more but the storage size has always appealed to me. I debated just putting a super large SD card in my phone since my Nano died but the music app on my HTC phone is crap and some songs that I know are on the SD card just won't show up in my library which is weird. I even downloaded a music player thing from the app store and even that's not showing them. I don't get it.

I've already lost some weight but recent health crap at the doctors means that losing some more would be a good idea, also I want more freedom of clothing. I don't want to cross-examine a top or dress and debate whether or not it's going to fit me. I also want to buy more things that suit my rainbow goth style. As for piercings and tattoos they're a constant that keep getting pushed each year. Although saying that I did get a tattoo last year, even if it was only because a friend of mine is an apprentice and was doing them for free, I still love it anyway. It's a mandala style moon on my right shin.

Oh something I didn't put on my resolutions list but want to do is figure out a direction for this here blog. I'm thinking maybe more of a book/film review type thing with occasional writing bits thrown in. I originally started it with the intentions of it being a fashion blog but most of the time I'm in a t-shirt and skinny jeans or jogging bottoms because of walking the dog. I did try and take an outfit photo with my new camera a while back but I couldn't get everything in focus so I'm not sure how people who do it solo manage...

Anyway I've written enough for one day so I will leave it there for now.

Stef Out x

Would You Rather: Christmas Edition

Just a mini post as I saw this on a few blogs and fancied doing it. I will try and do a proper post shortly...

Eat brussel sprouts or cauliflower cheese?

Both! Although if I had to choose it would be the sprouts honestly.

Have twinkling lights or still lights?

Still but we do have some that go over the window that do flash gently. I don't mind if they aren't too manic but even though they can the tree ones must not flash.

Eat gingerbread or Ferrero Rocher?

Neither but gingerbread if I was forced to choose.

Open your Christmas presents with only immediate family or with all your family members?

Immediate family, so me and mum.

Cook Christmas dinner for the whole family or don't eat Christmas dinner at all?

Toughie. I am a rubbish cook but if mum couldn't I wouldn't want to go without so as long as it was small-ish hopefully I could cope if she talked me through it...

Have a real Christmas tree or a Fake Christmas Tree?

Fake every time.

Use blue, yellow, white or multi-coloured lights?

Mixture. We have multi-coloured and white on the tree, blue and white in the kitchen, pink and yellow with white in the window and yellow and multi-coloured on the display units.

Eat mince pies or Christmas cake?

Mince pies! Yum!

Wake up at 6am or 10am?

6am because I can never sleep late on Christmas morning no matter how tired.

Drink champagne or hot chocolate?

Got to be hot chocolate. I love it enough that I have it almost every day even in summer whereas I've never even tried Champagne.

Eat Heroes or Roses?

Heroes! The best tied with Celebrations.

Get a puppy for Christmas or a kitten for Christmas?

No pets for Christmas. My puppy is a lot of work even now he's 8 months, to bring that with all the mess of toilet training home in winter would have been a nightmare whereas bringing him home in the summer by now we have good routines set (his behaviour is still very questionable in a lot of ways though). Kittens are easier to cope with over the holidays but I would be wary of any person or place that let a pet go home at Christmas knowing how many get dumped after the holidays.

Watch Elf or Home Alone?

Home Alone is a classic. I've watched Elf but I wasn't a fan. Just too silly from what I remember.

Only be able to listen to Christmas songs all year round or never hear a Christmas song again?

Never hear a Christmas song again. When you hear them on repeat in your crappy retail job you kind of want to pull your eardrums out after a while. I always enjoy them at home up until the point they start at work and then that starts to ruin things.

Wake up bright and early and get all of the best boxing day sale goodies or stay warm and cosy in bed wearing your new Christmas pyjamas?

Apart from the fact that I had to work boxing day this year (and Christmas Eve) stay warm and cosy inside wearing pyjamas all day.

Long Time No Post + NaNo Questions From PaperFury

So... It's been a while. That potential dog I was talking about? 

Meet Ryazan Fingal aka 'Forest'! He is a purebred Borzoi and at the moment he's 5 and a half months old. He was born 7th May and we brought him home 12th July! It has been a whirlwind and things haven't really stopped since then. We must be mad because we're now thinking about possibly putting or names down with a couple of sighthound rescues and hope they're OK with flats and enthusiastic puppies 😆 LOL!

So now onto the main reason for this post: the yearly tradition that is National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo! I attempt most years and have yet to succeed. Last year I got to 29k words which I was pretty pleased with and that was with a fairly solid idea and lots of laptop time. This year my idea is much more vague and I'm planning on hand writing so not exactly a recipe for success... But hey I'm gonna try!

1. What inspired the idea for your novel, and how long have you had the idea? The base idea came to me as I was trying to get to sleep one night a couple of months ago.
2. Describe what your novel is about! It's about the truth behind family and heritage. There will be magic and faeries.
3. What is your book’s aesthetic? Use words or photos or whatever you like! 
   
4. Introduce us to each of your characters! Lindy is the main character, she has black curly hair, ice blue eyes, tanned skin. She is queer and trans and love goth/strega fashion. Her mum is Andrea, who is pale, blonde and petite and they look nothing alike (sets off story). Sadie is Lindy's supportive best friend who has red frizzy hair and loves research. Onyx is one of the first figures Lindy meets on her journey, she is not human and has very dark skin and white hair. Fennel is a pure white talking Borzoi (pictured above). Villains of the story are Mallick and Magda.
5. How do you prepare to write? (Outline,
   research, stocking up on chocolate, howling, etc.?) Come up with a vague plot and some characters, start writing, panic when things don't go to plan (I never properly plan because planned chapter 7 always ends up happening in chapter 2 and it's frustrating), drink copious amounts of tea and hot chocolate.
6. What are you most looking forward to about this novel? Seeing if I can actually tie this thing together into something that makes sense.
7. List 3 things about your novel’s setting. Forests that appear purple, crystal clear lagoons, British secondary school.
8. What’s your character’s goal and who (or what) stands in the way? To find out the truth about herself, her whole identity is tied up in knots. Her mother is a primary block in refusing to tell her the truth. Mallick is the other block in her accepting her future.
9. How does your protagonist change by the end of the novel? She has matured, accepted her differences and even embraced them. She willingly takes the role she's meant to.
10. What are your book’s themes? How do you want readers to feel when the story is over? "Choice not chance determines destiny". I want them to be able to accept their differences as a part of them and embrace themselves.

A Small Update Part 2

So this is the promised part 2. This is mostly about my New Year's Resolutions here.

Most of them will not get done and it's all the wardrobes fault. So January we bought the new wardrobes. They're bigger than the old ones which was fine in my room since there was nothing else in the way. But in mum's room there was a bookcase between the wardrobe and the door that would no longer fit. So that led to buying a new bookcase (it was a weird size, 30-something centimetres, so a half one was a bit small but full size wouldn't fit, eBay came up with the goods but it was white so we covered it with beech-effect sticker stuff) for there. The one that was there moved to the corner but there wasn't quite room so that led to a half size one being bought for that space (in our flat if there's a space, there's a bookcase).

With all this going on mum did some rearranging in her room and I did some tidying in mine. This somehow led to buying myself a new bed - which is shorter than average so we're going to buy me another new one and this one will replace her ancient one. Mine was getting a bit old and worn plus the new one/s are divan beds with storage which is good for thick jumpers and seasonal stuff aka Christmas jumpers. A lot of the storage in my room is made up of these plastic drawers. Two side by side in front of the window for leggings, hats, scarves etc, and two on top of each other by my wooden drawers for underwear.

As I'm getting older I'm realising they don't look brilliant so they are being replaced with wooden drawers this payday including one extra for mum. One of the plastic drawers - the colourful one - is relocating to the living room for stationery and art stuff.

So as you can gather a couple of wardrobes have snowballed into furniture in general. I've already mentioned another bed. There's also going to be a big chest of drawers for mum since here's has been crap all the years we've had it. Then there's the new sofas - the others were emergency stop-gaps 4 years ago. Plus I need a new desk and I think mum mentioned something about a sideboard. There was also going to be another bookcase but mum rescued a wardrobe our neighbour was chucking out and she's hand-making one out of that and some other wood. She collects wood. And loves DIY.

I have penciled in getting my New Rocks and a couple of other bits for September and October but otherwise for the most part each payday is taken up by furniture. I did get my new camera February or March (Sony Cybershot HX60) which is awesome. But it means things like piercings, tattoos and learning to drive are getting pushed back to next year.

As for a dog... I'll keep an eye out but who knows. We almost ended up with a puppy but we kept being given the run around about what was available between two different people so we said thanks but no thanks. One's adverts suggested that underage puppies were available straight away and the other turned out to be in an area known for puppy farming. Considering how rare Borzoi are they seem to have puppies available way too often. The decent breeders will only do a litter a year at the most, more likely every couple of years. At this stage if it happens it happens. I'm doing regular checks and I'm going to email a couple of breeders to express interest.

Also in case anyone comes by and mentions adopting. With a dog I am less experienced and unsure of one with an unknown history. Also a lot of rescue centres say no outright to flats or not having a garden whereas breeders are likely to be more willing to work with you. Plus I am supporting a rare breed, and I will know the puppies history and be able to meet possibly both parents and I really like that aspect.

However once I get a dog, rare breed or not she (or he) will be spayed or neutered. I don't support keeping dogs entire unless for very good reason. Too many dogs and breeds are being overbred (Staffies, Chihuhuas, Pugs, French Bulldogs, to name a few).

Anyway this'll do for now. I've got some posts on basic plus size Goth fashion in the works so they'll be up soon-ish.

Stef Out x

A Small Update Part 1

Long time no write. Things have happened. The biggest thing is that our cat Tigger died 30th January. He was about 10 or 11 years old (potentially older as he started life as a stray. The cause was probably heart failure since my Aunt told us he had a murmur. Mum got up and was getting ready when she noticed he hadn't moved and he was gone. We called my Aunt later and she collected his body and did whatever. These are a couple of the last photos I took of him. RIP furry buddy.

Work is alright. It's work. I just got my hours increased from 16 to 20. It means I'm now working all weekend every weekend (the new shift is Saturday evening and I was already doing Sundays) but the extra money each payday is worth it. My older, female supervisor is still a bitch but you can't have it all be good. One thing that's improved is that the young guy supervisor is now doing the schedules, hence why I was able to finally get the extra hours. I'd basically been asking since not long after starting over a year ago - 16 was never really enough.

Another good change is the actual checkout manager/main supervisor. Just before Christmas I think a woman came in claiming to be permanent and it turned out she wasn't which was a good thing since she was bringing in changes that made no sense (like we had to sweep under the tills when finishing - with what brush? And claiming we'd be off the till 5 minutes before finishing so we can clean - 10 minutes late is more normal). The main thing that pissed me off was her attitude during an absence hearing I had (oh yeah where I work you can be penalised for being off ill - verbal, written, potentially final warnings), she could (and in my opinion should) have let it go but she didn't and gave me a written warning so I was in a position to potentially lose my bit of the workplace bonus if we get it - which is unfair in my opinion, and said my attendance needed to be worked on. Oh all this is about 4 absences in a year, 2 of which were basically connected and all months apart, Jan, Feb, July, Jan. So I appealed it and it was rolled back to verbal which stays on file til mid August. So I really can't be ill again. But of course it's not like you can control being ill. Heck the July one wasn't even illness, I did something to my back and could barely move, walk, anything, even when I went back to work it was a struggle for a while and there was lingering pain for ages. Mum even had to help me dress for a doctors appointment, which I was lucky I could afford the resultant prescription since it was mid month and I rarely have money left at that stage.

So after claiming to be permanent she left in February I think and a bloke took over. He's alright. Doesn't say much but that's better than interfering too much. Originally he claimed he was going to be permanent but apparently he's changed his mind and is leaving soon. Going to a store nearer where he lives I think.

I was going to do more but I think I'll leave it here and do a Part 2 in a moment to be published tomorrow - don't want to bombard you. I actually kinda forgot about this blog for a little while but then I had the urge to do a redesign the other day with a better quality background (and some hidden CSS from Google that makes it stay still). I then adjusted the widths a bit which meant I needed a new header image and then today I managed to work out finally editing the about me bit. The old one was just a bit rubbish.

Stef Out x

New Years Resolutions 2017

Last year I had a massive list of 34 resolutions separated into 3 categories of which I achieved 7 and two of those were halves. *sigh* This year I have a more manageable list of 22.

1. Get my septum pierced.
2. Get my ear re-pierced.
3. Get at least one other piercing.
4. Get at least one tattoo - cover-up or otherwise.
5. Lose at least 2 stone.
6. Refine my personal style.
7. Learn to drive.
8. Get a dog (preferably a Borzoi - to be followed by a Shetland Sheepdog).
9. See a stage show.
10. Go to Longleat Safari Park.
11. Go out for a meal.
12. Read at least 100 books.
13. Read 'A Song of Ice and Fire'.
14. Watch at least 100 films.
15. Buy a new camera.
16. Buy an iPod Classic.
17. Buy some New Rock boots.
18. Buy new wardrobes.
19. Buy new sofas.
20. Finish the first draft of my novel.
21. Blog once a month.
22. Improve my art.

So that's my list. I haven't even bothered to categorise it like last year. I've also left off some of the less achievable things like 'go on a date' XD knowing my history that's kind of unlikely. And things like art goals tend to get forgotten. We'll just have to see what happens.

National Novel Writing Month 2016

So I'm sure a lot of people reading this (if anyone reads this that is XD) have heard of National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo as it's commonly abbreviated which is the aim to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. I've tried a few times, the site has me registered as a member for almost 7 years, but as for attempts I only have obvious evidence for 2013, 2015 and this year since they're the only ones that have been typed up.

In the past I've only owned a desktop computer so I've had to attempt to hand write my novel and then type it up to get an accurate word count. Needless to say that hasn't been an overwhelming success. In fact in 2013 I only achieved 8,365 and 2015 was even worse at 1,020. I don't think it helps that I usually 'pants' it aka flying by the seat of your pants aka writing whatever comes.

This year a few things changed. I had an unexpected tax refund. Well I say unexpected but I knew I'd paid too much tax a couple of years back and it was something I kept meaning to sort out but never got around to it and in the end the sent it before I got a chance. So I decided to spend some of it on something I'd wanted for ages to help with my writing - a laptop!
               
I got an Acer Aspire ES 15 since it was on offer at Argos (bigger hard drive than the one I'd originally picked). It can be sluggish if you have a lot of browser windows open for some reason. It doesn't bother me too much though. The first photo is it wearing it's lovely sticker from Amazon. The owl case in the second picture is also from Amazon - it has handles. :)

So back to NaNoWriMo the laptop made things much much faster and less hand crampy. I ended up having to miss a fair few days thanks to work, I just checked and it looks like I missed 7 days completely although there was also one day I only wrote 100 or so words so I'm not sure how much that counts LOL. Regarding work I have some awkward shifts like 2pm-7pm which when you get up doesn't give masses of time for writing nor when you get home. I also did about 4 or 5 Saturdays overtime over November all 2pm-6pm so again not masses of time. Really for me - a retail worker - October would be the better month for NaNoWriMo, although saying that I did do a lot of overtime in October this year including working every single day of the half-term week. Great fun.

So what was/is my novel about and how many words did I write in the end? The working title is 'Healing Hayden' but I don't know how well it fits because even though Hayden goes through the most trauma he's not the only character. The other main is his identical twin brother Jasper. Both have their secrets but while Jasper is generally happy with himself and just needs to figure out timing, Hayden is very unhappy with himself, not helped by bullying at school and later a serious assault. He does figure things out eventually but I'm not at that point yet. Currently he's in hospital following the assault. And as of last night my word count is 29,534 words. My aim was to get to the 30,000 mark but I was a little blocked and it was getting late so I called it a night.

Overall although I didn't make the 50,000 words I'm incredibly proud of myself because 29,534 is the most I've ever written for one story and I think it's a story with potential. My main worry regarding eventual publication would be the assault scene - it's pretty graphic... Eh, I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.

Stef Out xx