Catch Up and Old Photo Alert

So my news. As I said on my last post my glasses broke. Here is photo evidence:

We tried glue and tape but the lens kept falling out. I went to my Optician and he said the only option was to replace the frames at a cost of £21. Yeah no thanks. I've had the old ones since 2009 I believe and I felt like a change so I had a scout around online and found Select Specs where I managed to get some for £6 (£12.95 with postage), I chose the P2267 - Demi. They took a while to arrive so I was rather headachy and avoiding the computer so as not to strain my eyes. 

This is them :D they look great I think and they're pretty comfy. The main issue with buying online is worrying about fit and arm length but these are fine. They were a bit tight at first but they seem to have worn in now though :)

Anyway now for the outfits: 

Top: Evans, Skirt: Charity shop, Socks: Charity shop, Trainers: Shoe Zone

T-Shirt: Evans (says Rock 'N' Roll Snoopy but Snoopy got washed out), Jeans: Bon Prix, Trainers: Vans.

Top: Evans, Jeans: Oxendales Catalogue (I think...), Trainers: Vans. These jeans I've had years. The last time I tried them on they were too small, now they are loose.

Just for fun here's an old photo from when I was at college when the animal (and probably horse) care students did our Key Skills certificate. We went on a day trip somewhere I can't remember the name of. I do remember I'd been on a camping trip there with my secondary school once. They do things like fire starting, shelters etc. I nearly had an asthma attack walking from the minibuses up to the site. Once there we were put into groups and had to make a shelter. I was on wood collecting duty for my team and I reckon our shelter was pretty good. Our photo was taken at the end and I received it at the end of the year.

Today I was sorting out my drawer and found the photo and I was shocked by the change. I didn't think I'd lost much weight in recent times but looking at this - bad pose aside - I have lost a lot of weight. I look awful here. I've ripped the picture up now - mostly because the only people's names I can remember are Sarah (pictured above) and Sam. I do remember I had a crush on Sarah (damn it what is it with girls called Sarah? That was my exes name...) but nothing ever happened. I don't know if she was even anything other than straight, she was awkward and spiky but good fun, we lost touch after college though. Despite the fact that the picture is awful it was a good day and I loved college. I wanted to do the follow-up course but I couldn't afford it (same old, same old).

There is more to say but I'm going to leave it there for today as this post is rather long (even if it's mostly pictures XD).

Stef Out xx

Catch Up + Outfits

Sorry I haven't been around lately, haven't really had much motivation *sigh* I'm kind of back now and thought I'd better do an outfit catch-up. I can't really remember dates/places for these outfits but they are posted in order of wearing I think (I number my photos in my computer folder).

Dress Marks and Spencer via charity shop, cardigan from a friend, apple necklace from Oxfam online shop, shoes are Converse and I can't remember where I got my socks but they have rainbow stars on them :)

Top charity shop, shorts used to be my school trousers, shoes are green Vans and I've had the socks for years. I apologise for shutting my eyes at the exact wrong moment. Didn't have time to retake XD

Top from New Look, skirt was originally a size 12 Primark dress which mum altered :) It's really nice and light. Can't see but shoes are the Converse again.

Dress New Look via the charity shop, leggings from eBay, Peacock necklace is from Avon and the shoes are the ever reliable go-with-anything Converse. Side note I love this dress! It even has pockets! :D

Dress from Evans and of course Converse shoes. I'm so predictable XD This is my favourite dress, it drapes really nicely although it's quite loose these days. Course it was like 29*C *faint* so it was a little heavy.

T-shirt from Evans, trousers from Yours Clothing and shoes from Vans. Hair has also been freshly dyed in Schwarzkopf Live Color XXL in Mystic Violet. Apologies for squinting I think I must have been mid-blink...

So life. Mum and I are still unemployed. I did my trial shift at Brewer's Fayre and it went alright and although it was exhausting and boiling out in the kitchen I quite enjoyed it but sadly I didn't get it. I've applied for several others since but the only one to get back to me is McDonald's and that's a bloody no. Typical. I might reapply though. I just want anything at the moment.

Mum had an interview at HomeInstead to do help within the home, cleaning, washing, a bit of shopping, driving to appointments and minor cooking. The interview was over in Long Ashton which while fairly close to here (it took around half an hour to drive there from Portishead) isn't an area mum knows so I printed a map off of Google. We took two wrong turns on the way there before finally finding it and of course it was pouring with rain. Mum was in there for ages while I sat in the car and read In the Midst of Life by Jennifer Worth. It seems like the whole thing was a bit pointless. The woman told mum she'd have to help with washing and changing - which she didn't want to do and was led to believe she wouldn't have to do by the company leaflet - and she'd told mum on the phone that the CRB check would be a reduced cost of somewhere around £12 which was possibly affordable yet told her at the interview that the full cost of £52 would apply which mum would have to pay (and can no way afford). She would also have to go to Long Ashton for 3 days the next week for training and then would have to go there every week to drop in her client list stuff (I'm not really sure) so mum has decided that would be it. It wasn't the end of the day though, mum accelerated instead of braked going round a sharp corner and if there had been anything going the other way there would have been a crash! I nearly peed myself since I already needed to go (not like there were any loos around) and then we somehow ended up driving home a different way. Overall not an experience we'd like to repeat...

Otherwise things have been fairly quiet except my glasses have also broken :( This image I found on Google is most similar so mine except my arms are a lot thinner and plain black. The bit that is circled red is where mine have snapped. Mum glued and taped them and the lens was sitting alright for a few days but now it keeps falling out so I'm getting some new ones. The Leopard Savannah (very bottom right) from here http://www.selectspecs.com/cheap-glasses/ which is about £12 with postage. The opticians I got my originals from could only replace my frames which would cost £21 but as I've had them since 2009 I kinda feel like a change. I'm due an eye test in October though which means I'll get a second pair of glasses since the ones I want in Specsavers are £69 currently or I'll pay £10 with an NHS voucher.

My last bit of news is that I've joined OkCupid. I've been thinking about it for a while and finally took the plunge :) I'm looking for friends and maybe more although I haven't exactly had much experience with relationships or dating. I've only ever had one girlfriend (and a boyfriend when I was 10) and it's not like it was ever following proper relationship rules. We never went on dates as such... We were friends in school, then best friends and we'd stay at each others house a fair bit, I actually stayed at hers for a whole weekend once, I confessed that I liked her, she said she liked me, we kissed and that was it we were together. I even went on holiday to Weymouth with her and her grandparents for a week which was great. Then we kind of had a break, she met a guy, they had an open relationship so we kind of saw each other still for a while. Eventually it ended, I don't really remember how. She and the guy are married now with a son and I took a long time to get over her and I do still think about her sometimes. Hence OkCupid I guess, I'm feeling the need to maybe meet someone. Anyway my username on there is Summerlinn so check me out if you like, gay and bi ladies only ;) preferably in and around Bristol, Weston-Super-Mare and the surrounding areas but if you're cute and we get on then I'm open to suggestions/options.

Catch Up

I really am terrible at post names aren't I...

So a catch up for the past week or so. Monday I put in a CV at Brewer's Fayre restaurant, Tuesday I did my volunteering. Found some really nice stuff: black leather brogue ankle boots size 9, New Look bird print dress size 24, Red or Dead leather satchel (perfect size) a couple of CDs, a couple of books and some Clarks ankle boots which are a size 7 1/2 yet fit... Quite well actually... Weird. I also found some Yours heart trim tights new in pack in size 3. I tried them on this morning and I think I put them on the wrong way round but they fit alright. I'm not used to tights XD the heart trim seems too high though, I don't think it would be seen wearing a dress. Maybe short shorts though... It's no big deal though, it's just nice to have tights for if I get invited out anywhere nice.

So Mondays outfit I forgot to take a picture of but it was just black t-shirt, black calf-length skirt, black leggings and black Converse high-tops with blue laces. I wanted to look smart because of the whole taking my CV in thing.

This was Tuesday's outfit for the charity shop. Dress from Evans via the charity shop, leggings from eBay and Converse from size.co.uk with laces from biglaces.co.uk. I love this dress, it's so light and airy for the summer weather. It has actually been quite warm lately.

Thursday I had an interview at Brewer's Fayre but no outfit from then: black trousers, blue and red floral top and Doc Martens - they need new insoles though, the old ones were rather cheap and have started to rub on my left foot. The interview went alright and I have a trial shift next Wednesday evening, hopefully it'll go alright and I'll like it. I'm determined to like it. I need some job, any job and at least it's local so no travel costs. There are a couple of other places I will apply to though, the local Lidl and Coffee1 in the next town. That one is a bit of a pain as it will involve travel but if I got it I'd probably get a bike with my first wage and cycle there unless the weather is horrible in which case I would get the bus XD

Friday I was in Clevedon for my Pinnacle People job search group. The weather was a bit cooler so I wore trousers:

Yep the faithful spotted ones again :D along with a top I got from Yours a few years ago, I've lost weight since then so it's rather loose... Shoes are green Vans lace ups with rainbow laces. Mum just came up behind me and asked why am I looking so miserable in the photo... It's my natural face! Smiling looks awkward to me. Although to make her ladyship happy I will try and do happier faces in the future ^_^

I think that's all my news for now. I will be back Monday with the first Shoe Showcase :D

Stef Out xx

Non-Tag Tag

Saw this Liebster tag thing on Just me, Leah's blog and decided to do it :D

Here are the rules.

1. Mention who nominated you for the award.
2. Each person nominated must list 11 different things about themselves.
3. Answer 11 questions that the previous tagger has left you.
4. Create your own 11 questions.
5. Tag up to 11 people

11 things about me:

1. I love books and am constantly filling up bookcases (volunteering in a charity shop really doesn't help). 
2. I collect notebooks. I have piles of them everywhere. I buy them to write my stories in but then there's odd ones that I think they're too nice to ruin if a story goes wrong. 
3. My longest lived dream is to be a published author. I am constantly thinking up stories and starting them. I have several that I think could be viable for publishing and one trilogy that when it's written should do well, I've just got to write it first -_- 
4. I also hate my feet. I'm a size 9 UK which means I can never get nice shoes to fit. My feet are also quite flat which in combination with feet that turn out (I was told by a doctor when I was young that inline skates would be a bad idea, I don't know if the joint is weaker or something) makes a lot of shoes very uncomfortable. 
5. When I was in school my hair used to be just above my bum then I cut it to shoulder length and it's gone shorter ever since including a funky asymmetrical cut and a grade 3 or 4 shave. I'm now growing it out for dreadlocks. 
6. I also collect ornaments. Unicorns, pegasi, horses, wolves, dragons, faeries and owls. I will eventually do a post about my room which will showcase them. 
7. I have a serious phobia about bees and wasps to the point that I will jump in the road to get away from them. 
8. My dream is to move to a house in the Welsh countryside with huge rooms and about 10 acres of land so I can keep horses. I also wouldn't mind learning Welsh. 
9. Horses are my favourite animal and I have always wanted to learn how to ride but when I was young we didn't have the money and as I got older I put too much weight on. 
10. I love snakes and really want a pet corn snake. 
11. I am a non-displaying Goth at heart, I love black, bats and spooky things. 

Leah's questions:

1. Who would you say has been the single biggest influence on your life? My mum definitely. She's always been there and she loves me for who I am :) 
2. If you're attached, where did you meet your partner? I LOVE hearing how couples found each other! If you're single, tell me what you look for in a partner or who your celebrity crush is. Sadly single but I look for a girl who is fun, quirky, trustworthy and who has similar interests to me. I love curvy girls :D My celebrity crush is Kirsten Vangsness aka Penelope Garcia on Criminal Minds :)
3. What song do you play to get you in the party mood before a night out? I don't go out but when it comes to dancing Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 is always good :) 
4. If you could go back to any period in history, which would it be? The 80's had the best music and fashion so probably then. 
5. What was your favourite subject in school, and why? Art and English because they were the things I was best at. I also quite liked GCSE History as I had a really good teacher and I was good at it (it's always easy to like stuff you're good at XD). 
6. What do you spend the most of your money on? (excluding rent, food and travel.) What money? We do Avon regularly and I'm usually buying nail varnish from that. I also get a lot of books and some clothes from the PDSA charity shop I volunteer at. 
7. What are your favourite 3 possessions? My computer, my book collection and my iPod. 
8. If you had to live in another country, which one would it be? Within the United Kingdom then Wales but otherwise either Canada or Australia. 
9. What makes you happy? Reading and music. 
10. What was your best holiday/vacation ever? I've only ever been on holiday once and that was to Weymouth for a week with my best friend/ex-girlfriend and her grandparents. I really enjoyed it, it was September but the weather was great. 
11. What would you like your legacy to be? How would you like people to remember you? I suppose if I'm remembered at all would be fantastic. But I'd love to be a published author and have people remember me for that.

My questions:

1. What is your favourite band?
2. If you could go on holiday anywhere where would it be?
3. Which blogger inspires you most?
4. What is your favourite book?
5. What is your biggest fear?
6. What would be the one thing you would save in a fire?
7. Skirt or trousers?
8. What is your favourite TV show?
9. What is your favourite feature on the opposite and same sex?
10. What is your favourite film?
11. What would you buy if money was no object?

Feel free to fill this out if you haven't done it but otherwise I shall tag Sian of Sort Life Out; Buy Milk one of my favourite bloggers :)

Outfit!

EDIT: Just a quick edit to add the Bloglovin code <a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/6897149/?claim=g7z4mjp8q3y">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a> :)

Following on from my last post I have decided that I will post outfits occasionally. If I'm wearing something interesting that is... Stuff like jeans and my Batman t-shirt or black trousers and lilac polo-shirt will probably only get posted once to showcase a casual outfit in my world even if I wear them regularly.

This is me in all my fat glory in yesterday's outfit (today is a pyjama day) :D sorry for not smiling but I seem to have the whole Bitchy Resting Face thing that I read about somewhere XD smiling is not my natural face shape. Also excuse the pile of pyjamas on the floor (the red lump) the space by my bed in front of the bookcase is the easiest place to take pictures, I can't figure out how to get my whole head, body and feet in though... The bookcase shelf I used is a little high but the next one down even using boxes is too low. My room is light green though I'd prefer purple. You can see some of my many ornaments behind. There are some dolphins, a dragon, a faerie, some horses and some of the owls. They are a minuscule amount of my collection. I have shelves all over my room. I might take some pictures for another post. And of my bookshelves. My books have flooded out of my room to the hallway and mum's room XD.

So the outfit. The top is from Evans when I was still at school, maybe aged 16/17 or so, I remember wearing it on a day trip to Weymouth with my best friend/ex-girlfriend and her grandparents so they could book a caravan holiday for the four of us for the following September. I'm pretty sure that was my second sixth form year as Sarah only did one year of sixth form where I did 2 (trying to pass Maths and English which I eventually did on the second year so third go) and I remember she didn't go back to school with me.

Anyway enough rambling about the past... I don't remember what size the top was unfortunately. Only that for years it was too small but has recently become quite loose - side note I weighed yesterday morning and have lost 3 pounds, and this is without any specific diet/exercise routine - so I'm wearing it more, it's nice and light for the non-summer summer. The trousers are also Evans via the PDSA charity shop where I work. They're a size 26 which I expected to be too big as I have some old Asda jeans in a 24 which are too loose. I don't usually like polka dots, they seem old lady-fied to me but I really like these trousers. They needed taking up though XD short-ass 5 foot 4 here. I think they were designed for someone at least 2 inches taller. You can't see my feet but I'm wearing old Converse high-tops with light blue laces over multi-coloured red, yellow, white and orange striped socks.

This is my face when I was at the charity shop. I added my snake necklace (bought off of eBay for 99p) and a touch of make-up: eyeliner, mascara and a smidgen of blue eyeshadow though it had probably been sweated off by the time I took this on my phone - hence the quality.

I love the charity shop, I always find such interesting things and because I work/volunteer there (2 years 3 months) I can get things dirt cheap or even free. This week I got 4 books (Thud! by Terry Pratchett, Is It Just Me? by Miranda Hart, Understanding Cats and Radio Times Doctor Who) and a little notebook. I also got a dress. Pauline the manager was steaming this red and white striped halterneck maxi dress and I commented that it would make a nice skirt, then Pauline saw what appeared to be a stain (it was actually just a clump of thread stuck to the inside) so she let me have it for free! It was brand new with tags as well, £10 from Primark in size 12. For the fun of it I decided to try it on and the elastic stretched enough to fit round me, though a 14 would have better stretch since the overstretch made a couple of tiny holes... I have recently learned that some Primark stuff is available via Asos and although they only go up to a 20 (and I'm usually a 24-ish though I have got as low as 18 in my wardrobe) after this experiment I'd be inclined to try their stuff. Particularly as it's all so cheap.

So yeah I'm going to get mum to make the dress into a maxi skirt, she should be able to do it fairly quickly. After that it's just my jumper needs finishing... I have this men's jumper from H&M (if I recall) which fits perfectly slouchy on the body but the sleeves are so long I have to turn them about 3 times which looks scruffy. Mum has taken the sleeves off to shorten them but that's as far as she got which didn't matter as we had those couple of weeks of sunshine but then it went miserable and today it's back to sun. I think British weather is bipolar with more downs than ups. Though from what I know from friends in Europe, Canada and America it's been the same everywhere. Wintery-type weather lasting longer than normal. It's odd...

Here have a manicure, excuse the awful skin. I have a tendency to pick at the skin round my nails, my right hand is the worst currently. Both varnishes are by Avon. Nailwear Pro+ in Starry Sky (silver) and Mosaic Effects in Plum Illusion (purple crackle). Covered by an ancient clear topcoat.

So coming up on the blog. Shoe Showcase where I show you the shoes I own and review them for comfort, things that could be improved etc. Unfortunately I only own one pair of girly shoes and they were a lucky charity shop finds. Generally I prefer the look of Converse, Dr Martens etc over stiletto heels anyway but I am very limited by the fact that I have size UK 9 feet. They are also fairly wide though not as wide as the wide fitting some companies do (example some Evans biker boots I had, can't remember what width they were but they were too wide and kept falling off), my feet are also flat and turn out which leads to a lot of issues with comfort. Also coming up... More outfits I guess, and showing you my room and all my books.

I am going to try to be more of a blogger. I want to up my confidence and I often read on blogs that their blogs have helped that. I want to showcase my thoughts more. E.g. Family and Friends. My dreams. Wishlists as well.

Stef Out xx

Life

Unsurprisingly things haven't changed. I'm still unemployed. So is mum. I had an interview at Sports Direct which I didn't get and way back at the end of April I had an interview at Greggs which I'm gonna assume I didn't get as they haven't bothered telling me. I did ring them once and they said there had been a delay up at head office and I'd hear in a few days. We are now several weeks later so I might ring them again this week and have a bit of a rant about their shitty treatment of the whole thing. Especially as it says on their recruitment website (which they call Greggs Family hmph) that they will get in touch within 7 days and if there's a delay we will let you know. There hasn't been any change on my account section of their website either. It's very frustrating.

Other than that I've applied at Co-op but they haven't been in touch yet and mum and I had a dual interview for a cleaning company and it went well and the guy - Phil - said he was gonna ring the following Tuesday (presumably with formalities and some jobs for us to do as a tester) which he never did so mum rang him last week and apparently he was on holiday so she's gonna ring again this week. I hope something does go alright there as it seems like nice enjoyable work. Flexible hours, pay from something like £7.40 an hour which is pretty good considering minimum wage is £6.31.

To think something like that we never would have been able to apply for previously as these kinds of jobs usually require a car which before May we didn't have. We got a mini-loan from Provident (not a payday loan. It's payable over a year although you do end up paying back double pretty much on the 36% interest or whatever it is) and managed to find a nice little Citroen Saxo for £320. It needed Tax but MOT is until February. Meet Ruby:

Also our flaky friend Hattie sneezing. She took us to see the car and then her dad drove it home for us as it was all the way over in Keynsham (and we're in Portishead) and mum hadn't driven for 11 years or so. We had a car when I was 11 in the first year of secondary school and I'm now 22 almost 23.

This is mum sitting in Ruby :D She's a cheery soul hey? Always smiling. Well not so much these days with the whole job situation and the job centre ragging on at her all the time. They'd led her to believe this 2 day course thing a few weeks back was optional yet today they were going on at her because she couldn't go (couldn't afford to plus she had a meeting in Weston on one of the days and we were meant to go to the dentist the other day had it not been cancelled same day). Annoying.

Here's a recent picture of me - not as cheery as mum XD. Sat in Ruby while waiting for mum at the job centre. One of those rare sunny days we had before the rain set in again -_- my hair is growing nicely since shaving it in February. I did plan on keeping my natural colour but I caved fairly quickly. The idea is for it to get to shoulder length-ish maybe cut a blunt bob type style so it's all one length as it's kind of here there and everywhere at the moment... Grow it some more and once it's long enough - maybe somewhere past my shoulders - and then rope mum into helping me dreadlock it. Somewhere in between I'm going to bleach it and try and get it proper purple. Possibly with temporary dye (Special Effects, Directions or Manic Panic) but most likely with a shop bought dye. I usually use Schwarzkopf Live Color XXL in Mystic Violet http://www.amazon.co.uk/Schwarzkopf-Live-Color-Mystic-Violet/dp/B001RYUE5O/ref=pd_sim_sbs_beauty_15 but I'd like to try L'Oreal Paris Feria in Violet Vendetta http://www.amazon.co.uk/LOreal-Paris-Feria-Violet-Vendetta/dp/B009WNYL8I/ref=sr_1_1?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1371491848&sr=1-1&keywords=feria+violet+vendetta all I know is that I want it to be as long-lasting and low maintenance as possible. Oddly despite purple being a less natural colour it lasts way longer than red (which is what I used to dye my hair). No matter as purple is my soul colour hair-wise.

Anyway this has gotten a bit rambling so I'm going to finish up now. I'm going to try and be more active here, maybe post some outfits occasionally. Shock horror! My fat body on show to the world!

Stef Out xx

Giveaway Promontion + Small Update

The main purpose of this post is to promote Messy Carla's giveaway to win Asos vouchers http://messycarla.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/giveaway-win-asos-vouchers-uk-only.html#comment-form by linking it here I get extra entries and I really want to win :)

I could do with some cheering up. Mum did lose her job so she's signing on now. She's gonna ring someone and maybe write a letter to appeal it as she feels she was unfairly dismissed. She needn't have lost her job since another guy told a customer to fuck off and he kept his job. It doesn't tally.

Perhaps understandably I didn't get my job there but I am going to reapply in a few weeks to a couple of months. I kind of really want the job now just to piss them off. Get rid of mum, get me instead, you ain't getting rid of this family.

Other than that things have been quiet around here. I've been applying for stuff (well one thing if I'm really honest). It's just being bothered. It's been so dismal lately I've been feeling a bit down. The weather looks like it might be improving though, it's sunny today but still cold and apparently it's gonna get warmer next week so that'll be good.

Stef out xx

Bit of a Mess

So everything is a bit of a mess at the moment. As you may probably not know I've been unemployed for almost three and a half years with intermittent voluntary work between, I've been volunteering at the local PDSA charity shop for nearly two years now and before that I was at the Oxfam hub where they upload stuff onto here http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop for four months.

Anyway recently I decided to finally bite the bullet and apply to McDonalds. A place I have previously been dead set against working (I'm not the biggest fan of fast food, I prefer simple stuff) but my mum works there and seems to enjoy and a friend we have is a manager there and I feel like I'm missing out on interesting stuff so I applied. Wednesday the 20th I had an interview. From what Hattie (our friend) said interviews our usually with the main manager Andy or a shift manager and usually take about an hour and involve some test work on front counter or window 2. Instead I was in with a very unprepared shift manager for about 5 minutes. He said my requirement of working days was unrealistic and I needed to be available 5am to close or there was no point continuing, he made me feel uncomfortable and like I was a nuisance and an inconvenience and that I'll need to come in sometime for a second interview with Andy.

So I wasn't feeling hopeful in the first place but then Friday happened. It's the start of the Easter holidays so it's busy and there are a lot of kids in. A group of teenage boys were being messy, rude and noisy so mum had them kicked out. Obviously they were pissed so they were making comments on their way and mum gave into her inner teenager and gave them the finger. They sniggered but one obviously went home and told his mummy who reported mum and of course she'd been caught on camera and now she's been suspended (paid thankfully) and has to go to a meeting Monday at 11am. The problem is mum is saying she'd rather get sacked than apologise, plus this is likely to impact negatively on my job application and mum works in the same general industry as me (retail) and if we both apply for the same job she's more likely to get it thanks to more experience and a general bubblier personality.

I just think it's incredibly unfair that she'd do something like this and not think about the consequences to her job or me. She just doesn't appear to give a shit that I want no need a job. Preferably this one so I can tell the job centre to fuck off. Or if I hate it I just need to stick it out until Sainsbury's opens - although that's not likely to be until next year.

So yeah feeling a bit crap at the moment.

EDIT: Feeling a bit more hopeful as mum told me that two other members of staff were suspended fairly recently, one for suspected theft, the other for something relating to a customer and they both got off. It's still not certain though as they aren't that fond of mum due to arguments over hours, balloons (mum is globophobic) and name badges... We'll see. I'll try and remember to update when I know more.

Bisexuality in the Media

Look a wild blog post appears O_O

It's so refreshing to see a character on TV who is truly bisexual. I'm talking about Nolan Ross on Revenge. I originally thought he was straight as he flirted a lot then he had a one-night-stand with crazy Tyler and I thought OK, maybe he's gay? Or it could be a power thing? Not a lot happened relationship-wise for a while. Enter Padma the new CFO of Nolcorp. They started off disliking each other, then tolerating and then became closer and now are in a relationship. Then in the latest UK episode it's a flashback to November 2006 and Nolan is planning on spending Thanksgiving with his boyfriend, then CFO Romero thus confirming Nolan as bisexual.

Usually on TV bisexuals are females who fit 1 of 2 categories: 1) girls who kiss other girls while drunk for the attention of guys or 2) girls who have a fling with a friend which is then forgotten about for all eternity. An example of 1 is on Alphas and Nina kissing Rachel for power, control, humiliation (Rachel has super-senses which makes anything physical very uncomfortable) and to excite her boyfriend. Examples of 2: We have Emmerdale and Debbie and Jasmine, Jasmine was likely gay and loved Debbie to the point that she went to prison for her but Debbie hasn't shown any signs of bisexuality since. Neighbours had Lana and Sky, Lana was gay and she and Sky became close and even kissed but Lana left due to homophobic bullying before anything more could happen. Lip Service had Tess who was gay with Lou who was bi-curious and way secretive and selfish in the relationship. Glee has possibly Quinn, I stopped watching after Santana's disastrous coming-out (I watched the whole episode with a disgusted look on my face and said never again) but I have read recently that she and Santana slept together probably as a one-time thing, alcohol may have been involved.

Speaking of Glee they also have the only other faithful portrayal of a bisexual that I can think of in Brittany. She had fun with Santana, dated Artie, dated Santana properly after she came out as a lesbian (or rather after Finn outed her >.<) and since she's been dating Sam which is a fairly even divide. Also it was actually Santana that ended their relationship due to long-distance otherwise they may still have been together.

Granted these examples may just be the shows that I watch. For example I know that there is at least one bisexual character in The L Word but having never watched the show (bad lesbian I know) I don't know how accurate her portrayal is in terms of behaviour male/female relationship ratio etc.

But of course how can bisexuals be taken seriously in the media when for the most part they aren't taken seriously in life. Seen as greedy, kinky, weird and slutty. Snobby lesbians won't date female bisexuals as they've slept with men and men just think threesomes and fantasies. Girls think bisexual guys are gay but lying and guys think they're just confused about what they want. Then you have so many articles online or in magazines "My husband is gay" well surely if you think you're gay but end up marrying a woman and have a happy relationship then you are bisexual... Sexuality is fluid. Despite the B in LGBT+ bisexuals are largely ignored by both the gay and straight communities. Still hopefully as attitudes towards non-straight people improves maybe bisexuality will be accepted more.

Also you have people that use bisexual as a stepping stone sexuality. I know I did. I originally thought I was bisexual so I identified myself as such but the more I thought about it the more I realised I am gay. Calling yourself bisexual also helps soften the blow when coming out to parents. Bisexual means grand-kids are still on the card (not that being gay means you can't have a family but I think lack of grand-kids is a popular concern for parents of gay adults) and you can give them time to the idea of you being not straight, maybe bring home a same-sex partner. Maybe several and then after a while say actually, mum, dad, I am gay, not bisexual. It's a tricky thing. The term works as a stepping stone but at the same time it devalues the word for actual bisexual people which makes it harder for them to garner acceptance.

As for me? I have friends of all corners of the spectrum that I love dearly, gay, trans*, bisexual, pansexual, straight... And my first (and so far only) girlfriend is bisexual and I didn't have a problem with it.