Book Review: She, Myself and I by Emma Young

Ebook provided by NetGalley for review. Thank you.

This was an interesting take on identity and what ifs. The story was well-written and drew me in and I loved the concept. Everything was really well researched and while not possible at the moment everything seemed plausible.

I really liked the characters, Rosa in particular was interesting in her lack of identity and introspection, she's intriguing in the nature/nurture context as well, how much does memory and experience shape us? I also loved Elliot's musings, particularly near the end.

Joe was nice but going across country when you've only known someone for a couple of days was not a sensible idea or one to be encouraged. The whole plotline around Joe and the instalove with him was the main reason stars were dropped.

I felt like the scene with Althea was too brief after so much build-up, I think that more could have been done there. Also a small niggle but Rosa's internet friend in Japan seemed a useless plot-point. Why mention lying to your internet friend if nothing is going to happen, I expected a scene later with Rosa coming clean about everything, especially as it's implied she's going to leak the truth anyway.

3/5 stars.

Stef Out x

Bisexuality in the Media

Look a wild blog post appears O_O

It's so refreshing to see a character on TV who is truly bisexual. I'm talking about Nolan Ross on Revenge. I originally thought he was straight as he flirted a lot then he had a one-night-stand with crazy Tyler and I thought OK, maybe he's gay? Or it could be a power thing? Not a lot happened relationship-wise for a while. Enter Padma the new CFO of Nolcorp. They started off disliking each other, then tolerating and then became closer and now are in a relationship. Then in the latest UK episode it's a flashback to November 2006 and Nolan is planning on spending Thanksgiving with his boyfriend, then CFO Romero thus confirming Nolan as bisexual.

Usually on TV bisexuals are females who fit 1 of 2 categories: 1) girls who kiss other girls while drunk for the attention of guys or 2) girls who have a fling with a friend which is then forgotten about for all eternity. An example of 1 is on Alphas and Nina kissing Rachel for power, control, humiliation (Rachel has super-senses which makes anything physical very uncomfortable) and to excite her boyfriend. Examples of 2: We have Emmerdale and Debbie and Jasmine, Jasmine was likely gay and loved Debbie to the point that she went to prison for her but Debbie hasn't shown any signs of bisexuality since. Neighbours had Lana and Sky, Lana was gay and she and Sky became close and even kissed but Lana left due to homophobic bullying before anything more could happen. Lip Service had Tess who was gay with Lou who was bi-curious and way secretive and selfish in the relationship. Glee has possibly Quinn, I stopped watching after Santana's disastrous coming-out (I watched the whole episode with a disgusted look on my face and said never again) but I have read recently that she and Santana slept together probably as a one-time thing, alcohol may have been involved.

Speaking of Glee they also have the only other faithful portrayal of a bisexual that I can think of in Brittany. She had fun with Santana, dated Artie, dated Santana properly after she came out as a lesbian (or rather after Finn outed her >.<) and since she's been dating Sam which is a fairly even divide. Also it was actually Santana that ended their relationship due to long-distance otherwise they may still have been together.

Granted these examples may just be the shows that I watch. For example I know that there is at least one bisexual character in The L Word but having never watched the show (bad lesbian I know) I don't know how accurate her portrayal is in terms of behaviour male/female relationship ratio etc.

But of course how can bisexuals be taken seriously in the media when for the most part they aren't taken seriously in life. Seen as greedy, kinky, weird and slutty. Snobby lesbians won't date female bisexuals as they've slept with men and men just think threesomes and fantasies. Girls think bisexual guys are gay but lying and guys think they're just confused about what they want. Then you have so many articles online or in magazines "My husband is gay" well surely if you think you're gay but end up marrying a woman and have a happy relationship then you are bisexual... Sexuality is fluid. Despite the B in LGBT+ bisexuals are largely ignored by both the gay and straight communities. Still hopefully as attitudes towards non-straight people improves maybe bisexuality will be accepted more.

Also you have people that use bisexual as a stepping stone sexuality. I know I did. I originally thought I was bisexual so I identified myself as such but the more I thought about it the more I realised I am gay. Calling yourself bisexual also helps soften the blow when coming out to parents. Bisexual means grand-kids are still on the card (not that being gay means you can't have a family but I think lack of grand-kids is a popular concern for parents of gay adults) and you can give them time to the idea of you being not straight, maybe bring home a same-sex partner. Maybe several and then after a while say actually, mum, dad, I am gay, not bisexual. It's a tricky thing. The term works as a stepping stone but at the same time it devalues the word for actual bisexual people which makes it harder for them to garner acceptance.

As for me? I have friends of all corners of the spectrum that I love dearly, gay, trans*, bisexual, pansexual, straight... And my first (and so far only) girlfriend is bisexual and I didn't have a problem with it.

Identity...

People have been talking a lot lately on various blogs about identity and it's made me wonder what is mine? Appearance-wise anyway. I already know my sexuality (homoromantic demisexual - feel free to ask more about this or visit this site: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page which has a wealth of information on everything in the asexual spectrum), I know I like an odd mix of music: rock, goth, metal, cheesy pop, 80s, sometimes stuff that doesn't fit into any category e.g. Brian Froud's album of Faerie music. I also know I like darker colours and imagery. Colours: black, purple, blue, red, deep green, teal. The only light colours I like are light blue, lilac and turquoise. Pink attracts me sometimes but it needs to be bright and in your face.

Imagery: graveyards, skulls, bats, rats, horror movies, flowers, rainbows, love, peace, supernatural themes - vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, ghosts. I like a lot of stuff that could be attributed to Goth, but also a lot of stuff that could be attributed to Hippie/Bohemian.

My Style by somersetraven featuring stripe socks

I decided to do a quick Polyvore to show what I mean. OK there is a lot of Goth imagery I like but there are also things in there which are more Hippie/Bohemian. And of course rainbows because they're pretty and also Pride FTW! XD As it stands currently my style is well... Not a lot. Fat stuff. I am a UK size 26/28 which means I'm limited in what I can buy that fits my style. Moonmaiden.co.uk do custom sizing but I'm unemployed and can't justify paying £50 for a skirt. So that means I'm limited to what I can find in the charity shop where I volunteer. I still try and stick to darker colours and suchlike but none of is obviously Goth or Hippie-ish.

However in 2013 I am hoping to start losing weight (seriously anyway, I've lost a bit lately. About a stone, it was a stone and a half but I've put the half back on through Winter gorging. Oops. Once I lose weight I will find it easier to find cheap clothes in my size and that match my desired image. The biggest change eventually will be my hair.

This is the most recent picture of me. Taken for Spirit Day this year in honour of those who have committed suicide due to homophobic bullying (oddly one of the few things I wasn't bullied about, my weight was my main target, I came out as Bi when I was 16 but it was never an issue and I later realised that actually I'm Gay so...). My hair is actually a little bit shorter at the moment as I had it cut for Christmas. My plan for 2013 is first of all to get a job, second to lose weight, third to get my tattoo covered (I like it but it was really badly done). My idea for my hair is to cut it short again once or twice. Then if I have a job by then shave it in the summer for my birthday and then start growing it out with the aim of in 2014 (when it's long enough) getting it dreadlocked. It's something I've wanted for years but seeing Amy of Bohemian Bloomers take the plunge has really made me resolve to actually do it but I do need to work myself up to it.

Anyway I think I've said all I want to for today and this post is getting pretty long so I'll see you in another few months or whatever XD.

*Stef Out*