Bisexuality in the Media

Look a wild blog post appears O_O

It's so refreshing to see a character on TV who is truly bisexual. I'm talking about Nolan Ross on Revenge. I originally thought he was straight as he flirted a lot then he had a one-night-stand with crazy Tyler and I thought OK, maybe he's gay? Or it could be a power thing? Not a lot happened relationship-wise for a while. Enter Padma the new CFO of Nolcorp. They started off disliking each other, then tolerating and then became closer and now are in a relationship. Then in the latest UK episode it's a flashback to November 2006 and Nolan is planning on spending Thanksgiving with his boyfriend, then CFO Romero thus confirming Nolan as bisexual.

Usually on TV bisexuals are females who fit 1 of 2 categories: 1) girls who kiss other girls while drunk for the attention of guys or 2) girls who have a fling with a friend which is then forgotten about for all eternity. An example of 1 is on Alphas and Nina kissing Rachel for power, control, humiliation (Rachel has super-senses which makes anything physical very uncomfortable) and to excite her boyfriend. Examples of 2: We have Emmerdale and Debbie and Jasmine, Jasmine was likely gay and loved Debbie to the point that she went to prison for her but Debbie hasn't shown any signs of bisexuality since. Neighbours had Lana and Sky, Lana was gay and she and Sky became close and even kissed but Lana left due to homophobic bullying before anything more could happen. Lip Service had Tess who was gay with Lou who was bi-curious and way secretive and selfish in the relationship. Glee has possibly Quinn, I stopped watching after Santana's disastrous coming-out (I watched the whole episode with a disgusted look on my face and said never again) but I have read recently that she and Santana slept together probably as a one-time thing, alcohol may have been involved.

Speaking of Glee they also have the only other faithful portrayal of a bisexual that I can think of in Brittany. She had fun with Santana, dated Artie, dated Santana properly after she came out as a lesbian (or rather after Finn outed her >.<) and since she's been dating Sam which is a fairly even divide. Also it was actually Santana that ended their relationship due to long-distance otherwise they may still have been together.

Granted these examples may just be the shows that I watch. For example I know that there is at least one bisexual character in The L Word but having never watched the show (bad lesbian I know) I don't know how accurate her portrayal is in terms of behaviour male/female relationship ratio etc.

But of course how can bisexuals be taken seriously in the media when for the most part they aren't taken seriously in life. Seen as greedy, kinky, weird and slutty. Snobby lesbians won't date female bisexuals as they've slept with men and men just think threesomes and fantasies. Girls think bisexual guys are gay but lying and guys think they're just confused about what they want. Then you have so many articles online or in magazines "My husband is gay" well surely if you think you're gay but end up marrying a woman and have a happy relationship then you are bisexual... Sexuality is fluid. Despite the B in LGBT+ bisexuals are largely ignored by both the gay and straight communities. Still hopefully as attitudes towards non-straight people improves maybe bisexuality will be accepted more.

Also you have people that use bisexual as a stepping stone sexuality. I know I did. I originally thought I was bisexual so I identified myself as such but the more I thought about it the more I realised I am gay. Calling yourself bisexual also helps soften the blow when coming out to parents. Bisexual means grand-kids are still on the card (not that being gay means you can't have a family but I think lack of grand-kids is a popular concern for parents of gay adults) and you can give them time to the idea of you being not straight, maybe bring home a same-sex partner. Maybe several and then after a while say actually, mum, dad, I am gay, not bisexual. It's a tricky thing. The term works as a stepping stone but at the same time it devalues the word for actual bisexual people which makes it harder for them to garner acceptance.

As for me? I have friends of all corners of the spectrum that I love dearly, gay, trans*, bisexual, pansexual, straight... And my first (and so far only) girlfriend is bisexual and I didn't have a problem with it.

Identity...

People have been talking a lot lately on various blogs about identity and it's made me wonder what is mine? Appearance-wise anyway. I already know my sexuality (homoromantic demisexual - feel free to ask more about this or visit this site: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page which has a wealth of information on everything in the asexual spectrum), I know I like an odd mix of music: rock, goth, metal, cheesy pop, 80s, sometimes stuff that doesn't fit into any category e.g. Brian Froud's album of Faerie music. I also know I like darker colours and imagery. Colours: black, purple, blue, red, deep green, teal. The only light colours I like are light blue, lilac and turquoise. Pink attracts me sometimes but it needs to be bright and in your face.

Imagery: graveyards, skulls, bats, rats, horror movies, flowers, rainbows, love, peace, supernatural themes - vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, ghosts. I like a lot of stuff that could be attributed to Goth, but also a lot of stuff that could be attributed to Hippie/Bohemian.

My Style by somersetraven featuring stripe socks

I decided to do a quick Polyvore to show what I mean. OK there is a lot of Goth imagery I like but there are also things in there which are more Hippie/Bohemian. And of course rainbows because they're pretty and also Pride FTW! XD As it stands currently my style is well... Not a lot. Fat stuff. I am a UK size 26/28 which means I'm limited in what I can buy that fits my style. Moonmaiden.co.uk do custom sizing but I'm unemployed and can't justify paying £50 for a skirt. So that means I'm limited to what I can find in the charity shop where I volunteer. I still try and stick to darker colours and suchlike but none of is obviously Goth or Hippie-ish.

However in 2013 I am hoping to start losing weight (seriously anyway, I've lost a bit lately. About a stone, it was a stone and a half but I've put the half back on through Winter gorging. Oops. Once I lose weight I will find it easier to find cheap clothes in my size and that match my desired image. The biggest change eventually will be my hair.

This is the most recent picture of me. Taken for Spirit Day this year in honour of those who have committed suicide due to homophobic bullying (oddly one of the few things I wasn't bullied about, my weight was my main target, I came out as Bi when I was 16 but it was never an issue and I later realised that actually I'm Gay so...). My hair is actually a little bit shorter at the moment as I had it cut for Christmas. My plan for 2013 is first of all to get a job, second to lose weight, third to get my tattoo covered (I like it but it was really badly done). My idea for my hair is to cut it short again once or twice. Then if I have a job by then shave it in the summer for my birthday and then start growing it out with the aim of in 2014 (when it's long enough) getting it dreadlocked. It's something I've wanted for years but seeing Amy of Bohemian Bloomers take the plunge has really made me resolve to actually do it but I do need to work myself up to it.

Anyway I think I've said all I want to for today and this post is getting pretty long so I'll see you in another few months or whatever XD.

*Stef Out*

My Little Pony

OK so I know this is a departure from the original next post being family related but as the wedding is on the 25th August it'll probably come around then. Instead I'm going to talk about ponies.

These ponies to be exact. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I'm sure everyone and their uncle knows who they are but just in case... Oh and each pony represents a certain trait which can come together and defeat the bad guys. Twilight Sparkle is the purple unicorn, she loves books and doesn't make friends easily (she's a lot like me then LOL except I'm not as smart), she represents Magic. Applejack is the orange earth pony with the hat, she is an apple farmer and represents Honesty. Rainbow Dash is the blue pegasus, she helps control the weather by moving clouds around, she loves sport and represents Honesty. Rarity is the white unicorn, she is a fashion designer and a bit of a diva, she represents Generosity. Pinkie Pie is the pink earth pony, she loves parties, baking and jokes, she represents Laughter. Lastly the yellow pegasus is Fluttershy, who is very shy, loves animals and hates flying, she represents Kindness.

Anyway I as you may already know am a member of deviantArt. An art website. As you can expect like any fandom ponies are popular there. I am not a huge fan of the ponies being drawn as ponies as there is a lack of creativity. Everyone just uses the show's style. Instead I follow a couple of humanised pony groups. I like humanising ponies since everyone has there own opinion. Now I did already do a version but it wasn't very well thought out and mostly followed everyone's colour scheme but to be honest it's not very often you find someone with rainbow hair in real life... So lately I've been thinking more in depth about what I feel the characters would look like and act like in real life. With this I may write a fan fiction or something about them. Possibly at college...

Twilight Sparkle

Real Name: Hester Spark (Hester is Greek for evening star, evening is close to twilight and her cutie mark is a star)

Age: 16

Height: 5 foot 6

Hair: Black

Eyes: Dark blue

Race: 1/2, Greek, 1/4 African, 1/4 White.

Build: Slim, small breasts.

Dress: Goth, long skirts, silver jewellery, combat boots, lace tops.

Course: History, Psychology, English.

Personality: Uptight, doesn't get jokes, loves her school work, straight A student, doesn't do parties.

Applejack

Real Name: Pomona Jackson (Pomona is Latin for apple)

Age: 17

Height: 5 foot 3

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Green

Race: White with tanned skin and freckles, Southern American origin.

Build: Muscled, broad shoulders, big breasts, wide hips.

Dress: Practical, jeans, t-shirts, dungarees, wellingtons.

Course: Animal Management.

Personality: Brutally honest, loyal, hard-working, acts more like a guy than a girl.

Rainbow Dash

Real Name: Raina Dashwood (Raina is close to rainbow and comes from rain)

Age: 17

Height: 5 foot 2

Hair: Brown, often wears rainbow extensions

Eyes: Brown

Race: Tanned skin, South African origin.

Build: Slim, muscled, almost flat chested.

Dress: Sporty, tracksuits, trainers

Course: Sports Diploma.

Personality: Brash, likes playing jokes, sporty, cocky.

Rarity

Real Name: Gemma Dubois (Gemma means precious stone, rarity deals with gems a lot)

Age: 18

Height: 5 foot 7

Hair: Black

Eyes: Black

Race: French born, 1/2 Japanese, 1/2 British, ivory skin.

Build: Classic hourglass, though still slim.

Dress: Classy, pencil skirts, blouses, heels.

Course: Fashion design, jewellery making.

Personality: Very classy, thinks before she speaks, very continental, doesn't really drink.

Pinkie Pie

Real Name: Pinkamena Diane Pike (Nothing wrong with show name, just adjust surname to be more normal)

Age: 16

Height: 5 foot 5

Hair: Black, often wears pink extensions or clips

Eyes: Brown

Race: African

Build: Chunky build, small breasts.

Dress: Kooky, bright colours, tutus, leg-warmers, lots of jewellery.

Course: Art and Design, Cake Decoration.

Personality: Loves fun, parties, jokes, doesn't take much seriously, is a talented artist and baker.

Fluttershy

Real Name: Evelyn Stewart

Age: 17

Height: 5 foot 10

Hair: Blonde, often tinted pink

Eyes: Blue

Race: White, pale, British heritage.

Build: Slender, almost flat chested, very androgynous looking.

Dress: Hippie, long loose dresses, long skirts, loose tops, waistcoats, often barefoot.

Course: Animal Management.

Personality: Very timid, hates noise and crowds, cares more about animals than people.

Also in my headcanon I envision Rainbow Dash maybe having some kind of accident that makes her lose one or both legs and she goes on to be top of her field in paralympic sport. Starting off in wheelchair based sports but eventually acquiring running blades making her the female equivalent of Oscar Pistorius.

As for Fluttershy I see her as maybe being trans* but to begin with only Rainbow knows as they come from the same town (living next door) with Applejack finding out soon after due to being on the same course. After this Fluttershy tells the others. She is undergoing hormone treatment but is not undertaking surgery for a few years yet. I see Fluttershy's general appearance as something akin to male model Andrej Pejic who is a guy but is feminine enough in looks to walk in female shows as well.

Edit Oct 2014: It has been revealed that Andreja Pejic (note name change) is male to female trans*.

Fear Tag

I was reading Nocturne Street and spotted this with a note at the bottom saying if you are reading you're automatically tagged so I stole it XD

 Rules

• Do this tag with the lights on. You may be facing your worst fears in this room...
• Answer the questions! 
• Tag however many others as you want and link them in your post.
• Tell the others you've tagged them on their blogs.
• If you read their posts and notice you share the same fears, give them a virtual hug. :)

Questions

1) Three things you're afraid of for a very good reason (in order).

2) Three irrational fears of yours (in order).

3) The medical term for one of your fears.

4) Are you superstitious in any way?

5) Are you easily startled?

6) Do you have any common fears (heights, bugs, etc.)

7) When you watch horror movies, are you better at dealing with suspense or gore?

8) Are you afraid of ghosts?

9) Are you afraid of any animals?

10) What was your scariest nightmare about?

Answers

1) Deep water - you can drown, fire - horrific burns and loss of possessions and bees - stings (I'm not allergic though) and I will risk traffic to get away from them.

2) Spiders - England doesn't exactly have poisonous spiders XD, dolls - can't actually move to hurt you and clowns - generally considered children's entertainment and as such not logically threatening...

3) Bees = Apiphobia

4) Kinda, I touch wood, avoid ladders, occasionally avoid cracks in the pavement if I'm feeling silly - mostly because it reminds me of The Land Before Time and one of the silly moments in a fairly serious film. Black cats confuse me because I can never remember which side is supposed to be good luck vs bad luck, it changes worldwide.

5) Not really

6) Spiders, most bugs, clowns are fairly common, small spaces... I have a lot of fears really...

7) Gore. I love gory films, the Saw series is one of my favourite film franchises :D

8) No, I believe in them but I'm not really scared of them. Maybe if I encountered one I'd feel differently.

9) Sharks, crocodiles, I'm also a bit wary around strange dogs. Particularly big ones even though personally I've been closer to being bitten by a small dog than by a big one...

10) I don't think I've ever had a nightmare... Not that I can remember anyway, I don't think I really dream... If I do it's usually about something really random like toilets O_o

Another New Blog...

OK for some unknown reason I've decided to start a new blog... I am terrible at blogging so this will probably get forgotten about on multiple occasions. Oh I'm Stefanie by the way. Full name Stefanie Marie S, Stef for short. I am 21 and live in Somerset in the South West of England. I live in a small village close to the city of Bristol (where Skins was filmed which is damn awesome).

I do actually already have a blog and I suppose I could delete my posts and start fresh there but I feel like I need a completely new start. Somewhere to talk about music, fashion that interests me - mainly within the Goth scene, movies, books... Basically anything but ranting about annoying relatives, mainly my Aunt. Thankfully she seems to be out of our life now. I may explain in my next post just to get it all out of the way.

The one thing this blog probably won't contain will be outfit posts. I am not a confident person, I am actually classed I guess as clinically obese. Aka fat. Therefore clothes don't look great on me and being fat means I am quite limited in what I can find that is Goth friendly particularly as I have next to no budget. I spend about £5 a week on books and things at the charity shop where I volunteer but other than that I have maybe £30 every couple of months or so for other stuff. The last things I bought were green Vans shoes (which I'm waiting to arrive) and an ankh necklace from eBay. The next things I buy when I have the money will be new underwear (tmi I know) since mine are all holey and then new earrings so all my holes can match (and hopefully I will eventually re-pierce the one hole, but that's a story for another post). Anyway getting back to the point my size (a UK 30-ish) means that when I do buy clothes the main concern is price and fit rather than things like colour. It doesn't help that my style is very conflicted but again that is a post for another day.

Fashion-wise I will probably talk about styles that inspire me, shoes, stuff that is on my (never-ending) wish list, jewellery, that kinda thing. Make-up will probably get ignored. I usually only wear nail varnish, occasionally pencil eyeliner though I do have some of that stuff in a pot you apply with a brush to try out sometime (and I've only had it since Christmas).

Anyway this post is rather long for now so I'll just finish by saying that soon I will get round to writing an About Me page and I will also create a page to list all the music on my iTunes playlist leaving nothing out just so everyone can see my whacked out music tastes. I'm serious none of it goes together XD

*Stef Out*