Blogtober Day 20 - A Letter To Your Younger Self.

Dear 10 year old Stefanie,

You may think things are a bit rubbish at the moment, your best friend moved away, you broke up with your other best friend, you're scared about Secondary School but don't worry.

You will make good friends in the future and eventually in the years to come one of them will be your girlfriend. Yep, you're gay. Really you/we are a bit of an idiot not to have figured it out sooner what with liking unavailable guys and being friends with the weird guys - believe me they are weird, but also kinda awesome. One guy you never thought you'd be friends with because he's *gasp* disabled but you are totally compatible and even have a crush on the same actress from Home and Away - Tammin Sursok. We spend hours Googling pictures of her in a bikini rather than doing our Travel and Tourism coursework - hence why we fail XD

Tammin Sursok

School is generally a bit rubbish. You have a few issues with bullies. One of those is actually your 'friend'. She's a manipulative bitch. The other girl in the trio you're still friends with, she's alright and mum likes her. Your mum has very good instincts regarding your friends, you should listen to her. The saddest thing about the bullying is that you miss a lot of school, get behind and fail some exams meaning everything is delayed by 2 years while you pass them. You wanted to do A-Levels and then go on to do more at college and maybe even University. As it turns out you manage no A-Levels and only a year at college and you're still bitter and annoyed about it. You could have been doing so much more. *Sigh* that's the way it is sometimes.

Despite your fears about it you are never bullied for being gay although that rumour about your mum is slightly gross, weird and frustrating. It's always been the fat. You're still fat but it's not a big deal anymore. Overall what I'm trying to say is you end up feeling better about a lot of stuff. Sure life didn't turn out how you expected but it's not necessarily bad, just difficult sometimes. You aren't suicidal anymore - yeah that happened around age 14/15? The thoughts do pop up occasionally but you are stronger and you deal with it better.

Keep your chin up kid.

Sincerely,

24 year old Stefanie