Blogtober Day 20 - A Letter To Your Younger Self.

Dear 10 year old Stefanie,

You may think things are a bit rubbish at the moment, your best friend moved away, you broke up with your other best friend, you're scared about Secondary School but don't worry.

You will make good friends in the future and eventually in the years to come one of them will be your girlfriend. Yep, you're gay. Really you/we are a bit of an idiot not to have figured it out sooner what with liking unavailable guys and being friends with the weird guys - believe me they are weird, but also kinda awesome. One guy you never thought you'd be friends with because he's *gasp* disabled but you are totally compatible and even have a crush on the same actress from Home and Away - Tammin Sursok. We spend hours Googling pictures of her in a bikini rather than doing our Travel and Tourism coursework - hence why we fail XD

Tammin Sursok

School is generally a bit rubbish. You have a few issues with bullies. One of those is actually your 'friend'. She's a manipulative bitch. The other girl in the trio you're still friends with, she's alright and mum likes her. Your mum has very good instincts regarding your friends, you should listen to her. The saddest thing about the bullying is that you miss a lot of school, get behind and fail some exams meaning everything is delayed by 2 years while you pass them. You wanted to do A-Levels and then go on to do more at college and maybe even University. As it turns out you manage no A-Levels and only a year at college and you're still bitter and annoyed about it. You could have been doing so much more. *Sigh* that's the way it is sometimes.

Despite your fears about it you are never bullied for being gay although that rumour about your mum is slightly gross, weird and frustrating. It's always been the fat. You're still fat but it's not a big deal anymore. Overall what I'm trying to say is you end up feeling better about a lot of stuff. Sure life didn't turn out how you expected but it's not necessarily bad, just difficult sometimes. You aren't suicidal anymore - yeah that happened around age 14/15? The thoughts do pop up occasionally but you are stronger and you deal with it better.

Keep your chin up kid.

Sincerely,

24 year old Stefanie

Catch Up and Old Photo Alert

So my news. As I said on my last post my glasses broke. Here is photo evidence:

We tried glue and tape but the lens kept falling out. I went to my Optician and he said the only option was to replace the frames at a cost of £21. Yeah no thanks. I've had the old ones since 2009 I believe and I felt like a change so I had a scout around online and found Select Specs where I managed to get some for £6 (£12.95 with postage), I chose the P2267 - Demi. They took a while to arrive so I was rather headachy and avoiding the computer so as not to strain my eyes. 

This is them :D they look great I think and they're pretty comfy. The main issue with buying online is worrying about fit and arm length but these are fine. They were a bit tight at first but they seem to have worn in now though :)

Anyway now for the outfits: 

Top: Evans, Skirt: Charity shop, Socks: Charity shop, Trainers: Shoe Zone

T-Shirt: Evans (says Rock 'N' Roll Snoopy but Snoopy got washed out), Jeans: Bon Prix, Trainers: Vans.

Top: Evans, Jeans: Oxendales Catalogue (I think...), Trainers: Vans. These jeans I've had years. The last time I tried them on they were too small, now they are loose.

Just for fun here's an old photo from when I was at college when the animal (and probably horse) care students did our Key Skills certificate. We went on a day trip somewhere I can't remember the name of. I do remember I'd been on a camping trip there with my secondary school once. They do things like fire starting, shelters etc. I nearly had an asthma attack walking from the minibuses up to the site. Once there we were put into groups and had to make a shelter. I was on wood collecting duty for my team and I reckon our shelter was pretty good. Our photo was taken at the end and I received it at the end of the year.

Today I was sorting out my drawer and found the photo and I was shocked by the change. I didn't think I'd lost much weight in recent times but looking at this - bad pose aside - I have lost a lot of weight. I look awful here. I've ripped the picture up now - mostly because the only people's names I can remember are Sarah (pictured above) and Sam. I do remember I had a crush on Sarah (damn it what is it with girls called Sarah? That was my exes name...) but nothing ever happened. I don't know if she was even anything other than straight, she was awkward and spiky but good fun, we lost touch after college though. Despite the fact that the picture is awful it was a good day and I loved college. I wanted to do the follow-up course but I couldn't afford it (same old, same old).

There is more to say but I'm going to leave it there for today as this post is rather long (even if it's mostly pictures XD).

Stef Out xx